Two-Sentence Movie Reviews
Drag Me To Hell
Look, I love Sam Raimi as much as the next geek, but this film is just mind-bendingly dull and awful- the dialogue sucks really, really badly, it isn't scary, the "scares" are dumb, repetitive, and often ridiculous, each "horror" scene is so artificially drawn-out I can't help but think the script was originally for a fifteen minute short, everyone in it is boring and pointless, and if you added up all the characters together, they wouldn't make one three-dimensional character. Even the Rifftrax isn't enough to make it watchable- do yourself a favor and skip it.
"This whole movie is like a Simpsons Treehouse of Horror episode where they forgot to put in the jokes."