Two-Sentence Movie Reviews

Clash of the Titans (2010 version)

Had so little to do with the actual myth I doubt the screenwriter was even the slightest bit familiar with anything but the original film, only saw that once in a drunken/stoned haze in his college years and got it mixed up with several other films he later added in to the rip-off (yes, rip-off, and lots of them - there's even a bloody light saber in this "film"). It's appallingly bad, and I *mean* appallingly; the acting is more wooden than the djinni (yes, this film has djinni in Greece for some reason) the dialogue is lame, tension is nonexistent (look at the difference between the scene in Medusa's temple in both versions; one has actual tension and one is like a badly designed video game that you're forced to watch and can't play) pacing doesn't exist, character development is nil, and the whole "plot" (which is basically some loud noises and dull action sequences) gets resolved in the last three minutes of running time.