"It Made My Day"

My 5 yr old just called my cat Sean Connery and offered it a “mouse-tini”. IMMD

Yesterday I bought a useful little thing that not only cuts the crust off my sandwich, but it also makes it into two little dinosaurs. today I woke up at noon and came downstairs only to find my brother had set up an entire jungle of bologna and cheese dinos, complete with lettuce trees and little basil leaves in the dino’s mouths. My brother is 18. IMMD.

I was driving to a Gamestop when I noticed a man dressed as Mario advertising for a near-by Walmart. I told the workers at Gamestop, and they quickly got someone dressed as Luigi and sent him to the same corner. IMMD

My friend was searching for a mop bucket earlier. As she stormed around the house, opening every cabinet, she came up to my dad and said “HAZ U SEEN MAH BUKKIT?” IMMD.