Two-Sentence Movie Reviews
Crank
Commits grievous contraventions of the laws of physics, tactics, ballistics, medicine, mechanics, electronics, sex, basic intelligence, illegal business, dialogue, and cohesive scene construction, and is not clever, stylish, or charming enough to be forgiven in any category. Boys will love it, but if you're not male and 22 or below, it's utter, utter bollocks.
(The Owlvark's review: "It should be called 'Wank' ")
Labels: movie review
posted by Duamuteffe @ 1:55 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
lol, I watched that movie last night! It's worth the watch if only for the horror you'll feel every time they attempt to insert some sort of bastardized intelligence into the movie.
But but.... Jason Statham?
Even so, I'm afraid I still can't give it a pass mark. The film assumes you are either dumb or stoned out of your mind, and acts accordingly.
And, although this didn't factor into the review, could someone please explain to me convincingly how he's alive for the sequel?
As a side not, interestingly, the IMDB page lists, under "things you might like, " several much better films, including Shoot 'Em Up. This confuses me. There are major differences between the films, the biggest of which is that Shoot 'Em Up assumes you are intelligent, and also able to appreciate the difference between "style" and "shiny things."
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