Two-Sentence Movie Reviews

Cerberus

Owlvark: "So, that's it then, they're just going to smirk at each other over a pot."
Duamuteffe: "Well, that's probably more or less how the script was written."

(I feel compelled to explain that in the first ten minutes of the film they try to convince you that Atilla the Hun made a pact with Hades for something called the Sword of Mars, which is guarded by Cerberus. *Atilla the Hun.* Making a pact with the *Greek* pantheon. For a weapon from the *Roman* pantheon. Excuse me, what?)