Two-Sentence Movie Reviews

The Great Race

If over the top was an Olympic sport, this would be the 1960's gold medalist, because every single scene is way, way, way, way, way too long and of increasing ridiculousness. When a movie makes the viewer pine for "Murder By Death, " and its (by comparison) tight scenes, subtlety, and nuance, it is a clear signal that the director should have turned the dial down from eleven.

(One hour, forty-five minutes in...)

Owlvark: You know, I don't think I've ever made it this far in to this film.
Duamuteffe: Oh yeah?
Owlvark: Yes, I usually make it about half an hour and then find something else. I've never actually seen this part.

(One hour, forty-seven minutes in...)

Duamuteffe: So...Want to watch a Hammer film and make fun of it?
Owlvark: Please.
Duamuteffe: And we make fun of those because we love them.
Owlvark: Of course.
Duamuteffe: That's the difference between Hammer films and this. Hammer films are terrible and I love them. This is terrible and I hate it.
Owlvark: #dissolves into laughter#