Reason 1,000,172 why my life rules

Duamuteffe: "Could you go and put the kettle on?"
Owlvark: "Sure. I'll send my minion right away."
Duamuteffe: "You have a minion?"
Owlvark: "...No. First paycheck, though."
Duamuteffe: "We're getting a minion with your first paycheck?"
Owlvark: "Yes. It'll be an imp. A tea imp. It'll make the tea, and you'll be able to level it up. Then it will be able to teleport."
Duamuteffe: "Will the levels help with the tea-making?"
Owlvark: "Yes, it will be able to make progressively more bizarre types of tea."
Duamuteffe: "Like, what, banana-hamster tea?"
Owlvark: "Yeah, stuff like that."