Duamuteffe: I was thinking of getting the print of Baba Yaga to match the print of Vassilisa you got me for my birthday. There's a sale on.
Owlvark: Cool.
Duamuteffe: I wish they did prints of all the rest of the illustrations from the story- I love the pictures of her riders. I'd like to have them all up on the walls.
Owlvark: That would be awesome.
Duamuteffe: You know, if you'd married a normal woman, she'd probably want Thomas Kincaide prints instead.
Owlvark: Noooooooooo! Instant divorce!

#while watching the Mythbusters wrangle equipment to recreate an explosion from "The Bourne Supremacy"#

Owlvark: So, if Jason Bourne really wanted that house to blow up he'd have to get some fans and hose together.
Duamuteffe: I'm sure Matt Damon could find enough of each to do whatever he wanted.
Owlvark: ...That's a little American joke there, isn't it?

#The theme from 'Shaft' is playing the radio#

Duamuteffe: I can't help but wonder how he has the time to do any detective work.
Owlvark: Oh, because he's a sex machine to *all* the chicks.
Duamuteffe: Yeah, it clearly says all of them. I don't doubt it, but it must make things difficult towards him getting anything else done.
Owlvark: Maybe they all line up to make sure there's no confusion, or taking more than one turn.
Duamuteffe: That just doesn't have the same ring to it. "Who's the sex machine for whom all the chicks stand in an orderly queue?"
Owlvark: That's British Shaft.

Duamuteffe: So we were watching tv late last night, and I was like, "It's eleven o'clock and I'm tired of wearing pants." So I kicked them off, and just as I did, what pops on the TV but an ad for Iron Man 2 on DVD. And I thought, "Yep, the pants come off and Tony Stark appears. That's canonical accuracy right there."
TehSuz: #sighs wistfully# If only it were that easy.
Duamuteffe: #identical sigh# I know, right?

(Note to my British readers: trousers are what I was going for here. Although, knowing Tony, the British term would certainly apply...)

#In the Thrift Store, looking at a shirt...#

Duamuteffe: I don't know, it's neat, but it looks all Nintendo-y. I'd look like I was part 8-bit.
Owlvark: Yes, well, aren't you?
Duamuteffe: True. #laughs#

Just another normal day :)

Duamuteffe: #is sitting on the lawn, musing#
Small Fry: #stands in front of Duamuteffe and begins bowing repeatedly#
Duamuteffe: What's this in aid of?
Small Fry: You are a king.
Duamuteffe: Oh. What am I the king of?
Small Fry: You are the King of Bears.
Duamuteffe: Really?
Small Fry: Yes. I am the little king of bears.
Duamuteffe: So, like the Prince of Bears, then.
Small Fry: Yes.
Duamuteffe: Cool. Can I put this on my resume?
Small Fry: What's a resume?
Duamuteffe: It's a sheet of paper you give people when you're looking for a job. It has all the skills you have on it, and all the things you're able to do well.
Small Fry: Yes, you can put it on your resume.
Duamuteffe: So what does being the King of Bears entail? Do we tell bears what to do?
Small Fry: Yeah, about what to eat, and trees, and calling on the phone, to you, and Uncle Austin, and Mommy, and Papa, and-
Duamuteffe: Okay, let me get this straight. I'm the King of Bears, and my major job is to teach bears how to use cell phones so they can call people?
Small Fry: Right!
Duamuteffe: I'm cool with that.

In fact it's the only way I'd watch a movie with Colin Farrell in it...

Owlvark: (reading the movie reviews in Playboy) Did you see the blurb about the Colin Farrell fisherman movie?
Duaumteffe: I think I missed that one. I tend to not notice anything with him in it.
Owlvark: #hands the magazine over#
Duamuteffe: So, he picks up someone in a net, he falls in love, and his daughter insists it's a mermaid. Hmm.
Owlvark: I so hope it's Old Gregg!

Reason #2,956,953 that my life is awesome

Duamuteffe: #reading#
Small Fry: #grabs arm# Graaagh!
Duamuteffe: Who are you?
Small Fry: I am a monster!
Duamuteffe: Well, that explains the roaring. What do you want?
Small Fry: I am here to take you to the King of Livia, who is my king!
Duamuteffe: What does he want of me?
Small Fry: He wants you to pick up sticks and bring them to the castle!
Duamuteffe: What does he do with the sticks?
Small Fry: He makes them into firewood! The King of Livia needs LOTS of firewood!

~a few minutes and several sticks later~

Duamuteffe: I'm escaping! #runs off# I am no longer subject to the King of Livia and his bizarre whims involving sticks!
Small Fry: You CAN'T escape! The King of Livia NEEDS HIS FIREWOOD!!!

Reason #2,956,807 that my life is awesome

So I'm babysitting my niece, and we're sitting outside when a big crow flies into a nearby tree and starts cawing.

Small Fry: What's that crow doing?
Duamuteffe: He's cawing.
Small Fry: Calling? He's calling for help?
Duamuteffe: No, no, *cawing*. *Caw-ing*. It's the sound crows make.
Small Fry: Oh. What's he saying?
Duamuteffe: I don't know. I don't speak crow.
Small Fry: (standing up to face the crow) WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, MR. CROW???

Duamuteffe: So I dreamed there was this amazing tornado and thunderstorm outside, but you wouldn't come and look at it because you were watching a documentary on TV. And you had black hair and a mustache.
Owlvark: That's my evil twin! I hate that guy!

#While watching the "Captain Night Owl" commercial from Captain Morgan#

Owlvark: "It's nightmarish!"
Duamuteffe: "You really don't like that guy, do you?"
Owlvark: "No! It has a beak, but doesn't use it. There's a mouth underneath the beak."
Duamuteffe: "Huh, you're right. I hadn't noticed that."
Owlvark: "It's like an owl with a talking wound! I'd fight that in D&D!"

Duamuteffe: "So I left Tim a message and told him I'd bribe him with lunch at El Canello's if he took me shopping. I'm sure he'll do it if he's got the time, he's always happy to help, if you can get ahold of him. I mean, if you're in trouble, and you can find him-"
Owlvark: "What, he's the A-Tim?"
#pause#
Duamuteffe and Owlvark, in unison: "Da da da DA, da da DAAAAA!"

Reason 1,002,721 why my life rules

Duamuteffe: "That's the place they let you pet the stingrays, and they bump up against your hands like cats. Flat wet sandpaper cats."
Owlvark: [Bob Fossil] "The sandpaper cats? The little wet flat sandpaper cats?
Owlvark: [Howard Moon] "...The stingrays?"
Owlvark: [Bob Fossil] "Yeah!" #mimes tape recorder# "Say that again?"
Owlvark: [Howard Moon] "Stingrays."

Reason 1,000,172 why my life rules

Duamuteffe: "Could you go and put the kettle on?"
Owlvark: "Sure. I'll send my minion right away."
Duamuteffe: "You have a minion?"
Owlvark: "...No. First paycheck, though."
Duamuteffe: "We're getting a minion with your first paycheck?"
Owlvark: "Yes. It'll be an imp. A tea imp. It'll make the tea, and you'll be able to level it up. Then it will be able to teleport."
Duamuteffe: "Will the levels help with the tea-making?"
Owlvark: "Yes, it will be able to make progressively more bizarre types of tea."
Duamuteffe: "Like, what, banana-hamster tea?"
Owlvark: "Yeah, stuff like that."

Reason 1,000,057 why my life rules

Nojim: "Hey, you know that 'Rock the Cashbox' song?"
Owlvark: "Casbah."
Nojim: "Yeah, that one. I heard it like, six times in 24 hours the other day."
Duamuteffe: "I mostly envy you- the Clash rules."
Nojim: "Well, yeah, but I rocked so much I literally ran out of cash boxes to rock."
Duamuteffe: "Casbahs."
Owlvark: "I bet the Sharif was super pissed."

While watching "Look Around You"...

Duamuteffe: I don't know, I find it kind of unnerving- it's like watching a science show from a horrible alternate dimension.
Owlvark: What, the Seventies?