Two-Sentence Movie Reviews

To Live And Die In LA

Standard cop's-partner-gets-shot-cop-goes-after-killer film weighed down by a completely unlikable protagonist (when one's audience cheers whenever the "hero" is beat up, one has failed in one's characterization, unless the director in question really wanted to base his film around an uninteresting unhinged asshole with delusions of power), other players who sneer their way through lines, such as they are (I've never seen so many cliches in already terrible dialogue; they must have been levering them in with a can of bear grease and a shoehorn), confused attempts at swearing (after the fifth mangled reference to asses, coupled with the many shots of asses in the film, I started to wonder if we were getting a look into someone's brain) and a very early example of MTV editing, you have a load of pretentious coke-fueled wanking that isn't even saved by the Wang Chung soundtrack. Over-hyped bollocks, great for the ADD'ing under 20 set- everyone else please avoid, unless you feel like doing some serious MST-ing.

What a gorgeous day! We spent most of it outside at the park on the lake, me with a book ('Conan the Conqueror, ' if anyone was bothered,) the Owlvark with his paints, and both of us soaking up the sun and breeze. On our way there we found a baby painted turtle on a median strip in the mall parking lot- how it got there is open to conjecture; we thought perhaps a crow or seagull dropped it, since we couldn't see him climbing the six-inch concrete edging on his own. We let him loose on the lake edge under some cover, after we got some pictures first, because he was *adorable!*
The Owlvark got a watercolor done, and I finished my book, and we ate chocolate and snuggled and had a ridiculously good time, and since the weather's supposed to be good again tomorrow, we figure we'll pack a picnic lunch, put our futon out to bake in the sun (we hang it over some chairs on downstairs' concrete half-court, and it really does perk up when it's baked) and go back to the lake again. We might even go wading- it's still a little cold to swim, as some college kids found out the hard way today #snickers# but it was certainly hot enough to do some wading. Maybe we'll see the turtle :)

So we've been kicking around the idea of taking a trip to Mongolia late next year sometime. Airfare is remarkably cheap if you book several months ahead, and actually staying and traveling in Mongolia is pretty much as inexpensive as one could ask for, even during the current recession (the exchange rate is something like 1 to 1387, which seems pretty reasonable...). More importantly, it's a beautiful country, and pretty friendly, with a lot of fascinating places to go and explore. The Gobi Desert looked amazing on the "Planet Earth" series, and there's places there to go fossil hunting. It's even got a legendary death worm, like something straight out of Robert E. Howard, to either believe or disbelieve in, which is always entertaining. Did I mention most of the country can be seen on horseback? There's an indigenous reindeer culture to visit, falconers who fly eagles, rivers to fish, Paleolithic cave drawings, Tibetan Buddhist sites to see, small town naadams, new foods to try, and lots of ponies to ride- what more could one ask?

Hey Bailey, don't forget to drop me a line :)

I stumbled across an archive of classic horror stories, and on Algernon Blackwood's page I found one of my favorite short stories of all time - "The Sacrifice." It's not precisely horror, at least I don't see it that way. A lot of his stories are most geared towards inspiring wonder rather than strict fear. They're all worth a read, though.

I am very tempted to make a stuffed Winslow. I'm sure we could work out a way to make it say "Hi!" when you squeeze it...

"“He that but looketh on a plate of ham and eggs to lust after it, hath already committed breakfast with it in his heart.”

- C.S. Lewis

It's interesting to find that my beloved 1940's short horror collection is still in print, and can be found on Amazon (search 'Great Tales of Terror and the Supernatural' if you're interested; it's the "Modern Library" edition by Wise and Fraser) It introduced me to so many authors, most notably H.P. Lovecraft. 'The Dunwich Horror' gave me the screaming woo-hoos at the age of twelve, but I kept coming back for more. I'm somewhat harder to unnerve these days, but I appreciate any story that tries.

The best kind of birthday parties are the ones where your main concern is how much ammunition is on hand, and how many cases of clay pigeons to buy. :)

Quotes...

I like quote sites. They're mostly text-based, and thus work well on dialup.

"It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust."
-Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

"A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal."
-Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900), The Critic as Artist, part 2, 1891

"Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly, and they will show themselves great."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882), Essays, First Series: Prudence, 1841

"Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses."
- K'ung Fu-Tse (551 BC - 479 BC)

"The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

Ten Things You May Not Have Known Were Recyclable

(courtesy of some mail I got today)

1: Appliances - working ones can go to the Thrift Store, and non-working ones can go here: Recycle Steel

2: Athletic Shoes - Still wearable shoes can be sent to the needy in third-world countries here: One World Running and non-wearable shoes can go here Nike Reuse-A-Shoe and be turned into playground flooring.

3: Batteries - Battery Recycling

4: Clothing - Thrift Stores are always good options, but gently used womens' business clothes can go to your local Dress For Success, and unusable clothes of any sort can often be donated to animal shelters to be used as bedding.

5: CFL (compact florescent bulbs) - these can go to Ikea, of all places.

6: Glasses - the Lions Club takes all outworn prescription glasses and donates them to the needy all around the world. There's usually a drop-off box at your local optometrists' place.

7: Foam Packing Peanuts - They suggest sounding out your local pack-and-ship stores, which will usually take them for re-use. There are drop-off sites to be found by calling the Plastic Loose Fill Producers' Council at 1-800-828-2214, and for places to drop off styrofoam packing blocks, try the Alliance of Foam Packaging Recyclers at 410-451-8340. Hopefully someday they'll get a website...

8: Ink and Toner cartridges - The Lions Clubs also takes these, and also The Recycle Place

9: Oil - Used Motor Oil hotlines by state can be found here.

10: Phones - Collective Good will refurbish the phone and sell it to someone in a developing country, and Call To Protect programs donated phones to dial 911 and gives them to domestic violence victims.

Speaking of the Boosh, this is- for me, anyway- a contender for the funniest 46 seconds of anything ever. It's not going to make much sense outside the context of the show, but it doesn't really make that much sense in the show, either, so it doesn't matter too much.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

In the dream I was telling her about the nightmares.

It was a nearly pleasant room this time, not that terrible one with the single, bare bulb. It had lamps, and carpeting, but we were still facing each other across that same wooden table. I was holding her hand and telling her about the nightmares, and it felt so good to get them off my chest, for once to be able to say something. I told about the panic attacks, and the bad divinations, being afraid to fall asleep, of the others, and how we hadn't said anything before now because we thought she wouldn't be ready to listen. She was crying by the end, holding my hand tightly, and I didn't know why. But then she smiled through her tears and said she was so relieved to hear that we knew. We talked about the old days then, and she said that when we did that, she started to remember what it was like to be herself, to be happy. She had been frightened she'd forgotten. My heart lurched, and I tried to tell her I'd do anything she needed to help her remember, but I awoke in a panic like all the other times, and the moment was irrevocably lost.
The room was nearly stifling, despite the rain beating at the windows. "Nightmare, " I said plaintively, and he made soothing noises in his half-sleep and pulled me closer. The answer I'd wanted to give was still there, unsaid, and I mouthed the words in the darkness, hoping somehow they'd echo down and be heard, the oath and promise I'd made lifetimes ago: "Forever and ever. Forever and ever."

Forever and ever.