Two-Sentence Movie Reviews

Drag Me To Hell

Look, I love Sam Raimi as much as the next geek, but this film is just mind-bendingly dull and awful- the dialogue sucks really, really badly, it isn't scary, the "scares" are dumb, repetitive, and often ridiculous, each "horror" scene is so artificially drawn-out I can't help but think the script was originally for a fifteen minute short, everyone in it is boring and pointless, and if you added up all the characters together, they wouldn't make one three-dimensional character. Even the Rifftrax isn't enough to make it watchable- do yourself a favor and skip it.

"This whole movie is like a Simpsons Treehouse of Horror episode where they forgot to put in the jokes."

-Bill Corbett

Okay, so in the first thirty seconds of the first episode of Adventure Time, they reference Re-Animator and Army of Darkness. As the Owlvark said, "Who exactly is this aimed at?"

Drinking wine and watching Adventure Time
I really like being an adult.

The Slow The Plot Down sea chanty, courtesy of Joel and the bots. I actually went and looked this up again because it (well, the original, presumably) was being whistled in the latest episode of Freeman's Mind.

If you haven't seen all previous 31 episodes of Freeman's Mind, may I suggest you go back and start at number 1? It just gets better and better as it goes.

In which I forget the general Adult Swim demographic

Duamuteffe: Somebody in the reviews for [Venture Bros.] Season 4 is complaining that they don't watch it for the storyline, they watch it for the comedy, and there's less comedy. I'd argue that bit anyway, but all the characters have been evolving throughout the show, and that's the point of the show! That's a big part of what makes it so awesome! Why would you be upset about something that is the main point of the show?
Owlvark: They can't cope with it when they're stoned.
Duamuteffe: ....Good point.

I just realized that one of the shirts I bought on the last shopping trip makes it look as though I mugged Brock Samson. Except, y'know, it's about eighteen sizes smaller. And not bloodstained. And I'm still alive to tell the tale.