Come to think of it, just watch Black Books regardless.

Ah, the joys of broadband- here's the first part of Dylan Moran's standup show "Monster" for your enjoyment. If you're not familiar with his work, may I suggest you 1) skip to 1:24, to avoid the surreal bits at the beginning until you get a feeling for his humor, and 2) watch Black Books at your earliest convenience.

Two-Sentence Movie Reviews

The Great Race

If over the top was an Olympic sport, this would be the 1960's gold medalist, because every single scene is way, way, way, way, way too long and of increasing ridiculousness. When a movie makes the viewer pine for "Murder By Death, " and its (by comparison) tight scenes, subtlety, and nuance, it is a clear signal that the director should have turned the dial down from eleven.

(One hour, forty-five minutes in...)

Owlvark: You know, I don't think I've ever made it this far in to this film.
Duamuteffe: Oh yeah?
Owlvark: Yes, I usually make it about half an hour and then find something else. I've never actually seen this part.

(One hour, forty-seven minutes in...)

Duamuteffe: So...Want to watch a Hammer film and make fun of it?
Owlvark: Please.
Duamuteffe: And we make fun of those because we love them.
Owlvark: Of course.
Duamuteffe: That's the difference between Hammer films and this. Hammer films are terrible and I love them. This is terrible and I hate it.
Owlvark: #dissolves into laughter#

Just another normal day :)

Duamuteffe: #is sitting on the lawn, musing#
Small Fry: #stands in front of Duamuteffe and begins bowing repeatedly#
Duamuteffe: What's this in aid of?
Small Fry: You are a king.
Duamuteffe: Oh. What am I the king of?
Small Fry: You are the King of Bears.
Duamuteffe: Really?
Small Fry: Yes. I am the little king of bears.
Duamuteffe: So, like the Prince of Bears, then.
Small Fry: Yes.
Duamuteffe: Cool. Can I put this on my resume?
Small Fry: What's a resume?
Duamuteffe: It's a sheet of paper you give people when you're looking for a job. It has all the skills you have on it, and all the things you're able to do well.
Small Fry: Yes, you can put it on your resume.
Duamuteffe: So what does being the King of Bears entail? Do we tell bears what to do?
Small Fry: Yeah, about what to eat, and trees, and calling on the phone, to you, and Uncle Austin, and Mommy, and Papa, and-
Duamuteffe: Okay, let me get this straight. I'm the King of Bears, and my major job is to teach bears how to use cell phones so they can call people?
Small Fry: Right!
Duamuteffe: I'm cool with that.

Best Quote of the Week. Or Possibly Ever.

"He was a nerd in every direction. He moved like space squids hollowed out a sex offender and were drunk driving him."

- Seanbaby

I love Cracked Magazine. I may try writing for it one of these days...

"Five Ridiculous Gun Myths Everyone Believes Thanks To The Movies"

Two-Sentence Movie Reviews

The Fall of the House of Usher

Ah, Roderick Usher, the original emo- whiny, selfish, self-absorbed, and wimpy as all get-out. The entire film could have ended on an upbeat note within fifteen minutes if Phillip had the idea of just shining a lantern on him, shouting for good measure, and then carrying Madeleine bodily out of the house while Roderick writhed and whimpered, hopefully destroying his lute in the process.

It's funny how many of my favorite childhood toys were made by Arco. The Other World, 70's doll furniture, the Happy Valley Farm- so many cool things.

I am really enjoying the current Girl Genius side story. I can also see "On my horze! Iz a nize horze!" ending up in our common parlance. #grins#

Dumpster diving last night was a definite score- a very nice Louisville Slugger, adult-sized (it's a softball bat, not a baseball bat, but hey, we're not going pro, so it'll work for just going out and hitting a few balls) and a little aluminum ball bat that's kid-sized, which I'll either give away to some kids or save for when the Small Fry gets a little bigger (and a little more coordinated...)
Nothing else interesting to us was available, but there was a guy who really had the idea on how to troll trash; he had a pickup truck and a trailer.

Best. Wedding Invitations. Ever.

see more

Although my cousin's come in a close second :)

Exactly.

1179 thumbs' up, 79 down, at last count.

"Guys! Guys! I have a machine pistol in my hand and I have no idea what I'm doing! What's going on?"

- Michael Westen

Yeah, this season is going to rock #grins#

Despite liking the Fragile State CD ("The Facts and the Dreams") the Small Fry requested that the next CD have "more music in it." It took me a couple of questions to figure out what she meant, but we got there in the end- basically, she felt the album was either too minimalist (imagine trying to hash that concept out with a four year old...) and/or a little too laid-back for the games she's currently playing with the toys. So when the CD ended I put on Sisters of Mercy ("Floodland") and she said that was much better. #laughs# Awesome.







* Sisters of Mercy, by the way, are an excellent British 80's dark rock band.

So I Don't Believe In Talking Down...

Duamuteffe: Hey look, there's a pegasus on the other side of the dragon bouncy ball.
Small Fry: #turns the ball over# Look, there it is! Who is the rider of Pegasus?
Duamuteffe: Well, technically it's Bellerophon, but that's not who we're going with right now.
Small Fry: Why not?
Duamuteffe: Because classical Greek mythology is very complex and detailed, and a lot of it would be above your head right now.
Small Fry: Oh.
Duamuteffe: So we're just going to go with what you saw in "Clash of the Titans, " and say that it's Perseus who rode Pegasus.
Small Fry: Yes! I like "Clash of the Titans"!
Duamuteffe: I do too.

Yes, I know Monday was Memorial Day, and not today. I'd rather post late than not at all.

Memorial Day

"Greater love hath no man than this, that he lay his life down for his brother. Not for millions, not for glory - in the dark, where no one will ever know, or see."